Love Don't Cost a Thing, but Self-Sabotage Might: What You Need to Know

Hey there, friend! Today, we're going to talk about something that might make you a little uncomfortable, but bear with me because it's important: self-sabotage in relationships.

We've all been there - things are going great with someone, and then all of a sudden, you find yourself doing or saying things that push them away. Maybe you start nitpicking at every little thing they do, or you stop making time for them, or you find yourself getting jealous and possessive. Whatever the behavior is, it's not helping your relationship, and you know it. But why do we do it?

Well, there are a few reasons. For starters, sometimes we self-sabotage because we're afraid of getting hurt. If we push someone away before they can hurt us, then we're in control of the situation, right? We're protecting ourselves. But the thing is, that kind of protection is an illusion. All it does is create distance between us and the people we care about, and ultimately, it can lead to even more hurt and loneliness.

Another reason we self-sabotage is because we don't feel worthy of love. Maybe we've been hurt in the past, or maybe we just don't think we're good enough for the person we're with. So we start acting in ways that we think will push them away, because we don't want them to see us for who we really are. But the truth is, if someone is with you, it's because they want to be with you. You don't have to pretend to be someone else or act in a certain way to earn their love.

Finally, sometimes we self-sabotage because we're not fully aware of our own patterns and behaviors. We might not realize that we're pushing someone away until it's too late. That's why it's so important to take time to reflect on your own actions and motivations in your relationships. Ask yourself why you're doing what you're doing, and be honest with yourself about the answer.

So, how do you stop self-sabotaging in relationships? Well, the first step is to recognize when you're doing it. Be mindful of your own behavior, and if you notice yourself starting to push someone away, take a step back and ask yourself why. Then, talk to your partner about it. Communication is key in any relationship, and if you're struggling with self-sabotage, it's important to let your partner know what's going on.

Remember, self-sabotage is a common behavior, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. But it's also not something that should be ignored. By recognizing your own patterns and being honest with yourself and your partner, you can work to build healthier, stronger relationships. So take a deep breath, friend, and know that you're not alone. You've got this.