You're in Therapy Because They Won’t Be

It’s kind of ironic, isn’t it? Sometimes the very reason you end up in therapy isn’t even about your issues. It’s because you’re trying to deal with someone else’s mess, the kind of mess that would actually be solved if they’d just go to therapy themselves. But here you are, doing the work, carrying the emotional weight of someone else’s baggage because they won’t.

You might have a parent, partner, sibling, or close friend who’s dragging you down with their unresolved issues, and it starts feeling like their problems are your problems. Maybe they refuse to get help, or worse, they don’t even see that they need it. Meanwhile, you’re stuck in the middle of their chaos, feeling like the ground is slipping beneath you. You’re left picking up the pieces, day in and day out, and at some point, it starts messing with your mental health. You feel drained, overwhelmed, and sometimes just plain angry.

That’s when therapy comes in. But not for them. For you.

Here’s the thing: you can’t fix them. No matter how much you want to, no matter how hard you try, that’s not your job. And honestly, you shouldn’t have to bear that burden. You can love someone deeply, but their personal issues are theirs to handle. But what you can do is protect your peace, set boundaries, and figure out ways to keep yourself grounded. Therapy can help you do that.

In therapy, you might talk about your own reactions to their behavior, your frustrations, and how it’s impacting your life. The therapist will help you figure out where to draw the line between their problems and your responsibility. Maybe you’ve been conditioned to put others’ needs ahead of your own, to the point where you’re not even sure where your boundaries are anymore. It’s easy to lose yourself when you’re constantly in “fixer mode.” But your well-being matters too, and therapy is a space where that can be the priority for once.

It’s also about recognizing that other people’s dysfunction doesn’t define you. You’re not responsible for managing their emotions or fixing what’s broken inside them. And it’s hard, right? To admit that sometimes you need support because of how much someone else’s issues are affecting you? It might feel unfair, and it is, but here’s the deal: you’re doing something about it, and that counts for a lot.

At the end of the day, therapy isn’t just about solving problems. It’s about figuring out how to live with them, especially when the problems are wrapped up in the lives of people you care about. You’re getting the tools you need to navigate through their chaos without getting sucked in. It’s about self-preservation, and knowing when to let go of things that aren’t yours to carry.

You’re allowed to take care of yourself. You’re allowed to set boundaries, no matter how uncomfortable it makes others. And yeah, you’re allowed to step back, even if it means someone else doesn’t like it. You’ve got enough to handle just being you, you don’t have to play therapist to anyone else.

Let them figure out their stuff. Focus on you for a change.