Why the Path to a Better Life Often Feels Like You’re Moving Backwards

Don't know who needs to read this, but your ability to create the life you want hinges on your willingness to endure—and even embrace, the discomfort of its opposite. It’s a strange truth that often, when we’re building the life we want, it feels like we’re doing the opposite. Like saving money makes us feel broke, while it’s actually growing our wealth. Or setting boundaries makes us feel isolated, even though it’s carving out the space for healthier relationships.

This is the paradox of personal growth. We crave change, but the steps to achieve it often feel unsettling, awkward, even counterintuitive. And the tricky part is that we have to make peace with that discomfort. We have to accept that the path to what we want might look like the very thing we fear.

Take saving money as an example. You stash away cash each month, maybe cutting back on little luxuries. And suddenly, instead of feeling richer, you feel deprived. It’s easy to mistake this temporary feeling for a failure or proof that you’re actually "losing." But saving isn’t about the immediate payoff; it’s about planting seeds. Over time, those seeds grow into stability, freedom, security. But in the short term, it just feels like restraint. And you have to live with that feeling if you want to reach the other side.

Or consider setting boundaries. This one’s especially tough because it goes against our natural instinct to stay connected and avoid loneliness. You might say “no” to people who’ve always relied on you, or stop tolerating behaviors that drain you. And then, suddenly, there’s quiet. Maybe even a sense of isolation. But that quiet is the foundation of self-respect; it’s the space where you begin to attract people who respect your limits and share your values. Again, there’s a period of discomfort, a sense of loss. But it’s the soil in which healthy relationships take root.

Learning something new is another good example. When you start, there’s this frustrating feeling of being clueless, like you’re fumbling around in the dark. You might feel dumb, even embarrassed by how little you know. But this "dumb" feeling is actually a marker of growth. Every time you push through that discomfort, you’re stretching your mind, strengthening your skills. Intelligence isn’t about knowing everything from the start; it’s about building the resilience to learn. To be a beginner. To struggle. That’s where true growth happens.

In all of these cases, the discomfort is the price of admission to something greater. You want wealth? You might have to feel broke. You want relationships built on respect? You might have to endure a season of loneliness. You want to be smarter, wiser? Get comfortable feeling like a novice.

So ask yourself: what do you want badly enough that you're willing to experience its opposite, even if just for a while? Are you willing to sit with the discomfort that’s part of the process? Because that’s the real test of your commitment. Not whether you can visualize the goal or dream about the life you want, but whether you’re willing to experience the exact thing that terrifies you for a little while.

There’s no shortcut to this. Change means taking the hard road, the one that doesn’t feel great right away. But if you can make peace with those uncomfortable feelings, you’re halfway there. Because the people who succeed aren’t the ones who never feel fear or doubt, they’re the ones who keep going anyway. So when you’re in that in-between space, remember: it’s not a sign you’re failing. It’s a sign you’re on the right path.